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Thursday, July 17, 2014

10 {Scriptural} Encouragers for Our Kids

At the grade school my kids attended, they all received an "award" each year in recognition of a positive character quality their teacher saw in them. One of my daughters consistently got either "cheerfulness" or "friendliness". One night at the table, when she was about eight, we were talking about the rewards we would receive in heaven. She let out a big sigh and said in a deep God-like voice, "For you, the reward for friendliness!"

We all burst out laughing!



I thought about those awards recently  when I was reading in 2 Timothy 4:2. Paul tells his spiritual son, Timothy
"Publicly proclaim the Word of God! Be ready all the time. Have it on the tip of your tongue. Use the Word when you need to correct and encourage others." 
(my paraphrase)

I was happy the teachers were pointing out to the children their virtues and strengths, and all the times we and others have encouraged our children with a, "Good job, buddy," but as I read these verses, I thought how much better it would be to actually use scripture to encourage them! Far more effective would be to let them know they are not only exhibiting a positive trait, but obeying God.



Here are some of the ideas I came up with:


  • To your son when he says he will wipe the counters and sweep the floor while you are out and does: "Thank you for letting your yes, mean yes." (Matthew 5:33-37)
  • To the same child who also empties the dishwasher and takes out the trash, "Thank you for going the second mile for me!" (Matthew 5:10)
  • To a child who helps the neighbor rake the leaves and won't take money for it, but tells them they do it because Jesus told them to love their neighbor: "That is the way to let your light shine!" (Matthew 5:16)
  • To your daughter when she invites the least popular person to a special event: "I was so pleased to see you not showing favoritism."  (James 2:1)
  • To the child who plays his little brother's game choice instead of what he would like to do: "I appreciate you treating your brother the way you would like to be treated." (Matthew 7:12)
  • To your daughter when she says, "No" to what everyone else is saying, "Yes" to: "You aren't copying the world, but letting God transform you." (Romans 12:2)
  • To the boy who praises his dad when all the other kids are bashing theirs: "I appreciated how you honored your father in front of your friends." (Ephesians 6:2)
  • To the child who kindly thanks an old lady for the gift of a pair of socks, "I'm sure God was pleased by your thankfulness." (Colossians 3:15)
  • To the teenager who turns the channel during the lewd halftime show saying, "We don't need to watch that!" : "You were such an example of being pure as God is pure." (1 John 3:3)
  • To your son who uses part of his Christmas money to buy a present for a less privileged child. "You have learned that it is more blessed to give than to receive." (Acts 20:35)

Wouldn't it be great to have Scripture "on the tip of our tongue" like that? We would be teaching our children "when you sit in your house [around the table] and when you walk by the way [carpool] and when you lie down and when you rise up." (Deuteronomy 6:7)

What other ways can you think of to use scripture to encourage our kids?


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Thursday, July 10, 2014

My Rotating Audio Prayer List

When we were missionaries in Colombia my husband and I tried to take time each day to pray in depth together. We both wanted to get some exercise, too, so we loaded our youngest into a stroller and walked around and around our neighborhood, praying outloud with each other.


Photo Credit

At one point he came down with mononucleosis and couldn't walk with me for about a month, so I did our prayer walks alone--although I prayed silently. Stepping out of our gated community became synonymous with prayer for me and I would often find myself praying as I walked some where before I even realized I was praying. Oh to be like that always!

When we moved back to the states my husband started keeping office hours, so, if the weather cooperated, I could walk the mile to the office with him and then back praying by myself. But I found that whenever I was alone my mind would often wander and I would waste some of that precious time I could have spent in prayer.

That's when I got the idea to make an audio prayer list. Besides, I had that old MP3 player that I didn't use for anything! So I wrote down lists of people, places, and ministries that I wanted to pray for and recorded them in sections of 14 or 16 names. I would say the name and then pray silently for about 30 seconds and then say the next name.

This way when I went for my walk, I would listen. I knew I only had 30 seconds to pray for this topic before the next one would come, so I used those seconds well.





Since we have the privilege of traveling as part of our ministry, I believe I have the responsibility to pray for the places and people we meet along the way. So I have more things to pray for than I could get through in a 30 or even 45 minute walk. I wanted to pray for my family members every day, so I copied that list multiple times and interspersed it with the other lists.

 Now every day I pray for my family first and then two other prayer lists. Because there are many lists now, my prayer list "rotates." I don't always pray for the same people on the same day of the week, but I get through most of the list in a week and pray for my family every day.

This "system" has worked well for me for several years now. I'm always looking for ways to improve my prayer life, so I don't expect to stay with this forever. But perhaps it will help you whether you exercise or not while praying. I have a friend who listens to her prayer list when she drives!

Let me know the best way for you to pray!
aroundthetableblog(at)gmail(dot)com


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For more of my ideas on prayer, 
click here for 7 qualities to pray for, 
here for ideas on giving thanks vs. being thankful, and here for ways to teach prayer through example.

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Thursday, July 3, 2014

12 Ways to Make your Overnight Guests Feel Welcome

You might call me a Professional House Guest.

My husband and I are involved in ministry with Emmaus Bible Courses (ECS Ministries). We're sort of "missionaries on loan" to ECS. We travel the world inspiring, challenging, and encouraging believers around the world who work with the Emmaus Bible Courses in one of the 120 languages in over 100 countries.

We get to go to a lot of places! We both love to travel, learn about countries, experience different cultures, and, most of all, see people excited about studying the Bible! Whether they use the Emmaus Bible Courses or some other method, we just want people to get into the Word of God.

We don't travel like business people, with a generous expense account and in 5 star hotels. We stay with the people. This is great because we get to sit around their table, to know them, and learn about real life in their part of the world.

So for about three months of the year, on 4 or 5 different trips, we are professional house guests.



We have appreciated everyone who has us stay with them. Some people have very little, but share it generously. Some people we have stayed with are very well to do and give us luxury accommodations. We've slept in kids' bedrooms, master bedrooms, and livingroom floors. One time we stayed with a family in India who built a second floor on their home just so they could house "The Lord's servants." What an example!

For the first time in our lives we have a "guest room" in our own home, simply by virtue of our nest working it's way toward empty. I love it that I can house extra people very easily, but we've also forced the kids out of their rooms, slept on an air mattress in our family room, put a cousin of mine on a couch with make shift curtains for privacy, and put our granddaughter in our closet(!) to make room for people in our house.

Whatever you do, when you are called on to house people overnight, you can make them feel welcome. Here are twelve ways to do that.

1. Privacy -- My dream house would have a private bathroom for each guest room, but since I don't have that, I at least hang curtains over a doorway to the family room if my guests, or I, end up sleeping there. This gives them a place to change clothes without occupying the bathroom.

2. Mirror -- I've stayed in many places where there's no mirror in the bedroom and no outlet in the bathroom. I've pretty much learned to blow dry my hair by "Braille," but I would still like to know I look reasonable when I step out of my room to face my hosts.

3. Towels -- I always put clean towels on the bed in our guest room. If there's a couple staying in there, I give them matching, but distinct colors so they can tell them apart. I also point out the hooks on the back of the bedroom door where they can hang them if they don't want to leave them in the bathroom. This saves my furniture from having wet towels draped over it.

4. Chair -- My husband loves a room with a desk where he can feel organized and sit down to write his reports, figure out accounts, and study for his next sermon (which he usually preaches by the dozen on our trips). A desk usually comes with a chair! But if there isn't a desk, a chair is always nice for ease of putting on socks and shoes and other tasks that are best done sitting. It just makes life easier.

5.  Hangers -- If there is a closet or a small place where clothes can be hung on hangers, that helps so much. Long term living out of a suitcase is difficult and we like to unpack a bit and feel a little less wrinkled. Along with the space, a few hangers are wonderful.


Photo Credit

6. Empty Drawers -- My husband always unpacks as much as he can. At first I thought that put him in danger of leaving things behind, but I've learned it is wonderful if I can slide the suitcase under the bed and just open a well organized drawer to find my things. Now, I just need to keep my guest room drawers from becoming storage bins!

7. Water -- Many of the places we go we can't drink the water and our hosts leave a bottle of water in our room. They soon learn that the Flemings need two or more two liter bottles a day! At our house, the water is potable, but I always offer our guests a glass of water to take to their room at night. It's nice to have something to drink within reach, and maybe take an evening or morning pill with.

8. Morning Schedule -- I stayed with a family once where one member needed the only bathroom from 6 to 7 in the morning. I was glad they told me the night before so I could sneak in before six for just a minute! If someone has to be to work or school, let your guests know, so they aren't making life difficult for you, nor you for them.

9. Soap and Shampoo -- I've left my shampoo in Africa, Asia, North and South America, Europe, and Australia. (See #6) Very often, that's not a problem because at the next place there will be a basket of hotel size shampoo, soap, conditioner, and lotion samples. Whew! I have one in my "guest" bathroom now, too.

10. TP -- One of my callings in life is to change the roll of toilet paper. When my kids were growing up I began to believe that I was the only one in the house who knew how to do that! But it seems that I am doomed to a life of finding the last square on the roll. Sigh. Thankfully, most of my hosts have had an extra roll cleverly hidden under a crocheted "TP hat," or in a cupboard within reach of the...well, within reach. That's where I keep mine. Open a door, you'll find it.

11. Wifi -- One of the first things my husband does at someone's house is walk into the living room holding his iPad and asking if they have wifi and what the password is. Part of his ministry involves staying in touch with those other 99 countries while visiting this one. When I have traveled alone, I've often been too shy to ask, even though, I wanted it to stay in touch with family and not just goof off. If you have wifi, offer the password, maybe on a piece of paper on the desk in your guest room.

12. A Mint -- It is so fun to walk into a guest room and see it all prepared for you! A special touch can be a couple of candies, chocolates, or mints on the pillow. I always mean to do this, but never remember. (And I don't want to have the candy in the house, or I will eat it!)

13. ( a baker's dozen) Laundry -- As I post this article, my husband and I are traveling through 7 islands in the Caribbean. We were put up for four nights in a hotel where laundry was out of our price range, but we came prepared to wasn clothes by hand. But how nice to be in a home now and have the hostess offer to do our laundry!


One last trick I've learned is: spend the night in your guest room. When my husband and I "rented" my parents' master bedroom from them for nine months, they took over my old room. The next day my dad was fixing a cupboard door that had never closed properly during the eight years I'd lived in that room! You never know what you'll learn in your own house!

Your guests will enrich your lives as you spend time with them around your table, and you can make them feel welcome and their stay comfortable.





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Did you know that Around the Table: Connecting With Your Family at Mealtimes is available on Kindle?

You can get a copy today for only $4.75!


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Thursday, June 26, 2014

Praying Through the Week

Slightly off the family mealtime topic, this is part of the whole person who I am, and more important.

I've recently been reminded, in the way I'd rather not, to pray for my friends' children's faithfulness and obedience to the Lord and for all my married friends to be faithful to God and to each other.  

This isn't the first time a shock has given me this reminder, but I realized I'd fallen away from this petition when I pray through my list. As I was praying one day not long ago, I wondered how I could remember to keep that as one of my requests, even for people I least expect needing it.



Then I thought, well, that could be my Friday special request. I'd be able to remember because of the F in both words.

Since I have a "rotating" prayer list, this would probably mean that everyone on my list would at sometime over the period of a couple of months have faithfulness prayed for them. (I'll explain how I do my prayer list in another post.)

Then I figured I should think of some quality or characteristic to be prayed each day of the week. Since that day was a Tuesday, I asked God what I should pray for that began with T. The word that came to mind was Tough. Yes, I thought it was a strange word to be praying as well. But as each person's name came up on my list I thought of "toughness" needed in a different way in their lives.

So I started thinking of how I could use this for each day of the week. As I pray for my family and others, so you could use a list similar to this as well. Ask God what you should be praying for in the lives of those you love--and yourself! Feel free to use some or all of my ideas, but maybe you'll have some ideas of your own as well.

Here are the qualities, and some of the ways I have thought of to pray for the various people on my list, to develop them in their lives. I don't pray every area for everyone, but these are some of the ways I have interpreted these general areas in the lives of the various people in my family and around the world whom I pray for. 

Sunday--Sensitivity,  the ability to listen; the ability to remember similar situations in their own life as those they are talking with; think before they speak; ask questions of others to draw them out; listen more than talking; willing to sit with someone without demanding they talk; more grateful, less critical.

Monday--Mission, define purpose for now, for life; know God's will for job, studies; be open to new areas of ministry; re-evaluate how they are spending time on a daily basis; seek God's will about goals; try to work toward goals at least one step per week; know where to live; what lifestyle God wants for them; how to spend their money.



Tuesday--Tough, be strong in their own emotional make up; be strong in the dependence on and trust in the Lord; be strong in their convictions; strong enough to realize they need God; tough in their convictions about the truth; tough enough to stand up to persecution; tough in their love (disciplining children, expecting faithfulness and care from their spouse); tough on themselves in self-discipline; tough enough to get up and go to church when no one makes them; tough workers; tough on themselves in their use of time.

Wednesday--Wisdom, that they would know God and revere Him as that is the beginning of wisdom; that they would saturate their minds with scripture and glean their wisdom from there; that they would be aware of worldly wisdom and not begin to practice it; that they would be wise in each decision they make throughout the day; wise with money; wise with time; wise with friendships; wise with love; wise in setting goals; wise in whom they seek advice from.

Thursday--Thirsty, (this came from Matthew 5:6, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.") Thirsty for the truth; thirst after righteousness; thirst for God's will; thirst for Christian fellowship; thirst for what is eternal; thirst for the knowledge of God; thirst to please God with their lives; thirst for contentment; thirst for a balanced life; thirst to abide in Christ.

Friday--Faithful, to God; in marriage; to their children; to their parents; in their work; in their ministries; in their responsibilities; to their goals and purpose; to keep their word; to obey God; to use their God-given talents and spiritual gift; faithful to pass on to others what they have learned.

Saturday--Self-Control (self-discipline), in their thought life; in their actions; in their words; in their exercise; in their diet; in their use of time; in their witness; to over come fears (1 Tim. 1:7); to step out of their comfort zone when God nudges them; with their money; with what they watch; to work; to study; to help others; to not seek only their own comfort.

Of course, I continue to pray for other qualities and needs in their lives, but this is one way to add important values to my prayer life.




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For more of my ideas on prayer, click here here, and here,


Did you know that Around the Table: Connecting With Your Family at Mealtimes is available on Kindle?

You can get a copy today for only $4.75!


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Thursday, June 19, 2014

Take It Out!

In the city of Lima, Peru, there's a light house with a green grass park around it. Lighthouses are fascinating and spark the imagination. And a park with nice grass, that was a rare find in Lima in the 80s. So we often took our supper down there to enjoy looking at the ocean, run around the park, chase each other around the light house, watch ships sailing by, and have a family meal together.

When the weather is warm and the kids are off school is a great time to do something special for family meals. And there are all kinds of great ideas. Here are seven ways to "Take it Out". 




1. Carry Out -- That's what we did in the lighthouse park. I made some simple one dish meal that we could easily eat while sitting on a blanket along with tangerines or carrot sticks, sippy cups for drinks, and cookies for dessert. Any park will do, from the city park around the corner to the park by the lake an hour away. Bring some balls or frisbees or Bocce Balls (our family favorite) and enjoy the time together. As long as you are away from home, you are going to have enforced togetherness.

2. Grill Out -- Whether you have a hibachi or built in gas grill, and if you eat shrimp and steak or hot dogs, cooking and eating outside give you a chance to hear the birds sing, kids playing, a car driving past with bass booming, and, of course, someone mowing their lawn nearby. Something special after dinner (iced coffee drinks?) keeps everyone lingering longer to enjoy the outdoors.

3. Grill Further Out -- Take it further from home to a nearby park where grilling is allowed. We have a great park in our town overlooking a lock and dam in the Mississippi River where we've enjoyed some wonderful family times. "Remember the time the "ladder balls" got stuck in the tree? The game of getting them down was as much fun as the original game!" Perhaps there are trails to walk along in a park near you. And a kids outdoor scavenger hunt is always a great diversion!



    4."Move" Out -- Do you have a "video" projector? Take it outside and show a dinner movie on the side of your house, a sheet, or even an outdoor screen. Invite friends and neighbors for extra fun! Another variation of this is a drive in movie, if you still have one in your part of the world.

    5. Concert Out -- In our town there are two parks with free concerts where you are encouraged to bring your dinner beforehand for a picnic and then listen to the local talent. In the bigger city, where my son lives, there's a Concert Park dedicated to this during the summer. You have to pay, but you get to hear professional musicians. Either way it's a lot of fun! Look in your local paper for possibilities.


    6. Play Out -- Where my parents live they have "Shakespeare in the Park" one evening a week during August. We've gone there with our supper in a basket to enjoy the park, feed the ducks, have dinner together, and then try to figure out the Bard. Maybe there is something like that in your area.



    7. Shout Out (or Take Me Out to the Ball Park) -- Our church has a softball league and they love to have fans. It's pretty easy to pack a simple dinner and go cheer the team on. They might even win with the extra encouragement!


    What can you do to make a summer evening meal extra special?
    Can you plan an "event" once a week for your family this summer?



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    Thursday, June 12, 2014

    Full Menus

    I love having my house filled with guests!

    Sure, it's work and it can be expensive, but I am most comfortable in my own home and I strive to make others comfortable here too. That makes having people in my house the easiest way for this introvert to get to know people better.



    I had quite a few guest over and around the Memorial Day weekend and I thought I would show you what my menus were to give you some ideas. Where possible, I give you the link to the recipe.

    Wednesday Dinner - for 5
    Cranberry Chicken (So, so easy! And everyone always likes it!)
    Brown Rice
    Roasted Asparagus (Except I only use 1-2 Tablespoons of olive oils and use a silicon spatula to make sure the asparagus is well coated.)
    Roasted Roma Tomatoes (This link doesn't actually have Roma Tomatoes, but it has directions for lots of other veggies. I cut my tomatoes in half lengthwise, coated with olive oil, sprinkled with salt, pepper and parmesan cheese and roasted at 450 for about 5-8 minutes.)

    Thursday Dinner - for 7
    Slow-Cooker Stroganoff
    Egg Noodles
    Roasted Green Beans 
    Roasted Carrots
    Canned Beet Slices
    Pudding Eclair "Cake" (I use sugar free because I can't have sugar and no one complains!)

    Saturday Breakfast - for 9
    French Toast
    Strawberries
    Bananas

    Saturday Lunch - for 7
    Pasta Salad
    Olive Oil and Rosemary Bread
    Fruit Salad

    Saturday Dinner - for 7
    Homemade Pizza (I froze the crusts ahead of time, see link!)
    Green salad
    Garlic Bread

    Sunday Breakfast - for 7
    Cinnamon Rolls (I made them earlier in the week and froze them, otherwise they wouldn't happen before church!)
    Scrambled Eggs
    Sausage
    Cantaloupe
    Strawberries

    Sunday "Dinner" (Noon Meal) - for 7
    Slow Cooker Beef Daube Provanรงal (One of the most delicious ways to serve stew type meat. I think the name means "French Beef Stew!")
    Egg Noodles
    Lemon Green Beans
    Waldorf Salad
    Bread
    Pudding Eclair "Cake" (Yes, I repeated a dessert. So easy, so good, plus it was a different set of people, except for my husband and daughter and they didn't complain!) 



    Monday Memorial Day Picnic (lunch) - for 11
    Hamburgers
    Potato salad
    Fruit Salad
    Baked Beans (my mother-in-law brought these)
    Hamburger fixings
    Birthday Cupcakes (Someone asked my now 3 year old granddaughter, "Anna, did you make the cupcakes?" She said, "Yes. And Grandma helped me.")



    Monday Dinner - for 8
    Stuffed half peppers
    Green Salad
    Bread
    Coffee and cookies

    Tuesday Breakfast - for 7
    Oatmeal
    Raisins
    Bananas
    Blueberries (Anna's favorite!)
    Yogurt
    Milk



    Then came the sad time my son and his family had to leave, rushing out by 8 a.m. to get him to the airport in Chicago on time for his business trip flight. Unfortunately, he was in O'Hare for 11 hours because his flight was cancelled and they couldn't get him on another one until late at night. At least he was on an expense account!


    *   *   *   *   *

    Did you know that Around the Table: Connecting With Your Family at Mealtimes is available on Kindle?

    You can get a copy today for only $4.75!


    *   *   *   *   *  


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    Friday, June 6, 2014

    Follow Me!

    I took three weeks off to have two burst ear drums and 10 days of house guests. I hope you missed me! If you did, please let me know by writing to me. If you have questions for me to help you with about your mealtime issues, or suggestions for topics for me to touch on, please let me know. Thanks!

    I'm always amazed by the Apostle Paul when he says,



    I'm afraid my motto runs more along the lines of, 



    I learned early on that our example is our biggest impact on other people. When we had been on the mission field a year I gave birth to our first child. An older missionary came to visit and I have always remembered one of the things she said to me. "The Peruvian mothers will be watching you to see how you raise your child. You might think they aren't and they won't say anything until your children are older. But they will be watching you."

    I felt like that was a pretty heavy responsibility to carry. What did I know about being a mother? I certainly wouldn't have said to them, "Imitate my mothering." I felt like my daughter-in-law said many times when she was a new mother, "I'm making this up as I go along."



    I think the thing that scared me most about this was that there was much to my life I didn't want people to see! How about all the times I desperately didn't know what to do, when the baby kept crying or the diaper rash covered his whole body and I didn't know what to do and the doctor told me it was pure neglect! The baby wasn't the only one crying then!

    But I found out they were watching. And the missionary was right, they didn't tell me until I had some of my kids already out of the house.

    But as a follower of Christ, one who tries to obey Him and live as He would have me, an important question is raised: do I have things I do want people to see?

    I'm pretty comfortable about the success of our family mealtimes. I could suggest that you follow my example there. It includes so many areas of family life: chores, getting to know your kids, manners, getting to know others, and devotions. It's important!

    From May 21-31 this year we had a houseful of friends and family, sleeping as many as 11 in the house. That fills every bedroom, my husband's office, the family room, and our granddaughter even sleeps in our closet! Our guests come from Israel, Jordan, Kenya, New York, and Illinois. One of them doesn't even speak English. Three of them I never met before they arrived at my house.



    You can bet this includes lots of meals. As a result I've been on Pinterest looking for recipes and grandkid ideas. That got me thinking that I could use Pinterest to help you with your family meals even more. If you follow me on Pinterest, you'll find boards labeled "Recipes--Tried and Liked," "Slow-Cooker Recipes--Tried and Liked," and "Grandma Ideas," among others. I write notes about the recipes after I've used them--how I substitute ingredients (because I can't leave a recipe alone). These notes are for me, but I'm happy to share!

    So I can say "Follow Me" -- on Pinterest!



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    Next Week: I will share full menus for all the guests with you including side dishes. I find thinking of a variety of veggies and salads one of the hardest parts of planning meals. What do you find the hardest?

    *   *   *    *   *


    To never miss an Around the Table blog post, simply sign up in the space on the right side of the blog, below the picture of the book. Each week you will receive one email that looks like this:





    It's as easy as that. No searching for the blog, waiting for your browser, or missing a post. Sign up today!

    *  *  *  *  *


    For More Ideas and Inspiration:
    Check out the book Around the Table: Connecting With Your Family at Mealtimes. You can read the first chapter at this site and order a copy of the book.

    Get a Conversation Starter question each week night by *liking* the Around the Table Facebook page! 


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