Wednesday, February 15, 2012

The Table Follows You


Today's post is guest written by Glenys Hicks who lives in Australia. I thought it was especially appropriate that her post be today as Jim and I are, as you read this, en route to Australia on a ministry trip. Never fear, all my posts are already scheduled and ready to go, so keep coming back every Monday, Wednesday and Friday for more Around the Table ideas! Perhaps I will also be able to include some "down under" sights and sounds as we travel.

Glenys' childhood was the opposite of mine, but I feel her situation and her plea need to be voiced. Please read this carefully and prayerfully and make certain that you do all you can to help the children in your life grow up healthy and balanced.

My childhood was an unhappy one. We children were abused in every way except sexually.

We grew up in a household of alcoholics who made our lives hell. Especially at dinner time. We would scoff our food whilst keeping an eye open for the kitchen door to open with either Dad or our live-in bachelor uncle angrily bursting in. Or worse still, Dad would hurl the dinner at Mum and sulk in the living room and our uncle would sit in his place and glare at us as we tried to eat.
Photo credit: Sarah
 It made us nervous and of course, little hands shook and peas would go rolling onto the table. And then we would have the "hummmmphs" and "tut- tuts"and lectures on table manners from uncle. (Only one with no children can bring other peoples' kids up of course) If Dad burst into the kitchen during our meals, he would often argue with Mum and a fight would erupt and we would have to flee the house with dinner left uneaten. Mealtimes were always a time of anxiety.
  
Chris, my husband now, is mild-mannered and sees mealtimes as a time of togetherness, chat and enjoyment. In theory, I agree with him. Now the problem is that I can be sitting eating with him when suddenly I get a flashback, feel anxious and I need to leave the table. This upsets Chris. I have discussed this with him and asked him if he thinks I have bad table manners— he doesn't. I just can't seem to get past this wave of anxiety that sitting at the dining table for a prolonged time creates.

I have prayed. I pray silently after I give thanks for my food. But 43 years after leaving home, this wave of flashbacks causes me problems. Chris is offended when I leave the table immediately after eating. Even though there is nothing to fear with Chris, the fear I feel can be overwhelming.

Please ensure that mealtimes are peaceful at your home, for your children’s' sake as well as yours, because some things don't go away.



Glenys Hicks is an Australian Christian married to Chris. She is the mother/stepmother of 6 adults and is grandmother to 13 children. Glenys loves encouraging women in the spirit of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31. A sufferer of much ill health, Glenys writes to encourage women that they can still be Proverbs 31 women in spite of illness and pain. You can find her blog Morning Cuppas With Glenys at Morning Cuppas





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By the time you are reading this, Jim and I will have left on ministry our trip to Australia, New Zealand and Fiji visiting the ECS Bible Course offices in these countries. If you would like to follow our travels, you can go to our travel blog. Look for the blog "The Word Down Under." We appreciate your prayers.

10 comments:

  1. I am so glad you entered this side of life into your blog. It is so important for everyone to be able to identify with what you are trying to accomplish around our dinner tables, and so many people have had a lifetime of being miserable. Thanks Glenys for being willing to share!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks, Karen, I thought it was important, too.

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    2. I think troubled meal times are a big part of lots of adults' childhood memories... we must learn from the mistakes of our parents and not repeat them... because mealtimes make up such a big part of those childish memories... Blessings, Glenys

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  2. Glenys, thank you so much for sharing your story. I wonder if you and your husband could start a new tradition--perhaps coffee on the couch right after dinner so that the time at the table isn't prolonged but the togetherness is? I'm sure many are in your shoes, sadly.

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    Replies
    1. I think that sounds like a great solution, Merry.

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    2. Thanks for that suggestion, Merry. We have found it to be very helpful. Blessings, Glenys

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    3. I'm so glad, Glenys. My heart goes out to you!

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  3. My blog has been high jacked by an Indonesian guy... I have had to redo it,,, it is still Morning Cuppas With Glenys.....

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    Replies
    1. Now blogging at htts://inthewriting.blogapot.com.au/

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    2. I found Glenys' blog at http://inthewriting.blogspot.com.au/
      (There is a typo above.)

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