Thursday, January 12, 2017

Living By Faith

I have a confession to make.

Last week I talked about enjoying the seasons of life. I said God had given me a gift of being able to enjoy each season of life. As I reread my post, I realized how it sounded: 




That's not what I meant. That's not how I wanted to come across. 

First of all, if I find joy in each new phase of my life, I believe it is a gift from God and that says more about Him than it does about me.

Secondly, I do struggle with living by faith, with seeing God at work in and through me in new, different, and sometimes unwanted circumstances.

Right now I have a heartache. A mother's heartache. But I want to honor God in the midst of my pain. I want to honor Him by living by faith, walking by faith through this life. 

I used to say I couldn't wait until I got to heaven and I could have my faith perfected and my worship undistracted. But not too long ago I came to realize that I can't live by faith in heaven. When I am in heaven I will live by sight, "we will see Him just as He is." (1 John 3:2)

It is only here on earth that I can honor God by living by faith.

I'm still working on how to figure that one out. 












I know it involves knowing God, knowing His Word, obeying Him. But what I struggle with is trusting Him, trusting to the point of no longer being afraid. Afraid of the future, of life, of the what ifs, of the what if nots. Trust that believes that whatever God does, whatever God allows, is The Best Thing. I can say the words. I can quote Romans 8:28--in two languages! But do I live like I believe it?

And when I pray, do I pray in faith, or do I pray wishes? How can I know the difference? 

One day last month as I went about my necessary activities I had an ongoing conversation with God. Well, it was rather one-sided. Guess who was talking?

Over and over I asked God, "How can I live by faith?" I told Him I wanted to. I wanted to honor Him in that way in my life, but I felt so distraught, so anxious, that I knew I wasn't. I tried telling Him all about my worries. I tried asking Him to work in and through them. I tried asking for Him to work in me. I even tried thanking Him for everything good and the hard times too. (See Philippians 4:6-7) But I didn't feel like I was living by faith. 

So this is me being honest.

I do have joy in this season of life. But I also have concerns. Concerns that I sometimes swaddle my thoughts in all day long. But I also have God. And I'm seeking Him. Looking to know Him. Longing to trust Him. Wanting to honor Him. Honor Him by living by faith.






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2 comments:

  1. I appreciate your honesty and transparency in this post, Sharon! I can definitely relate to wanting to fully trust in God and knowing that if I could, I wouldn't have to battle fears anymore. But it's a sometimes daily struggle. I'm so thankful God's mercies are new every morning and that His faithfulness knows no end, even when I struggle to trust in Him. Thanks for this post!

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  2. Thank you for linking up at the Healthy Living Link Party!
    Blessings, Leigh

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